Watch For Those Who Want To Keep You Small
So many times, people want to keep the people around them small because of the fear of losing them. Often these are the people closest to them--spouses, parents, and friends. Those who we love and those who profess their love for us.
Everyone comes at the world from their own viewpoint--even those most well-intended, those who “love” us. And from these points of view, they see us playing the role they want us to play in their movie.
Sometimes the thing that keeps many people from taking risks and evolving past an ordinary existence is the lack of support from those closest to them. Husbands and wives are notorious for keeping their loved ones small. A husband could fear losing his wife if she accepts a bigger job or decides she wants to travel more by herself. A wife could fear losing her husband to his job or to the spotlight if he continues to advance and evolve. Parents can fear that their children will move away from them and not be a focal point of their lives anymore.
Jealousy and the fear of a change in a current relationship is a big reason people’s dreams die. They don’t want to disappoint the people they love. There are signs that people around you are trying to keep you small.
- They don’t really celebrate your successes
- They make comments such as “We will miss you if you leave,” or “You’ve got a good job here, you have benefits…”
- They don't get excited for you when you are excited about change
- They give reasons why you shouldn’t go for your desire
- They become negative when you tell them your dreams
- You can just feel it.
Recognize when those around you are trying to keep you small. Real supporters want what is in your best interests not theirs. It is also important to realize that no one can decide for you. You and you alone are in charge of your dreams.
Sometimes it is helpful to keep your dreams to yourself until you are fully satisfied that they are something you really want. If you express your desires too soon around those who are trying to keep you small, then it can affect your enthusiasm. Once you are all in on what you want and have reached a good feeling about it then you can mention what you are doing.
If someone becomes negative or they want to keep you "small" then you basically have two choices. You can ignore it and walk away knowing that this can severely damage the relationship so be prepared for that.
Or you tell them lovingly that your desires are for you, and you would love their support as you pursue your dreams. But if they cannot do that then you will always love them and support them. That usually works until they start hitting you with phrases full of guilt such as “You’re leaving me” or “What will I do?” A good response to that is “You are to live your life and if we all align to our deepest desires then I believe we will all be at peace with the evolution that occurs in our lives.”
To evolve, you may have to have these conversations and you may have to make the “tough” decisions. But if the decisions are aligned with your deepest desires, and you feel really good about them, then you know that things will work out for your highest good.
An individual's dream that dies because of someone else’s thoughts about it is like receiving a death sentence for a crime you didn’t commit!
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